


when it comes to love you're a flower in a gun

by Coccinella



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Barry freaks out, But with a fluffy happy ending, Canon Divergence, Everyone else is confused, Harrison Wells is a manipulative bastard, Hurt/Comfort, Joe makes amend, M/M, Oliver is a sweetie pie, Tag to "Rogue Air"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-17
Updated: 2015-05-17
Packaged: 2018-03-30 23:27:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3955918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coccinella/pseuds/Coccinella
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’s not fidgeting because Oliver isn’t here. Why should he? It’s not like the man was three seconds away from having a vibrating hand shoved in his chest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	when it comes to love you're a flower in a gun

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from the song "I'm a ruin" by Marina and the Diamonds.

He’s not fidgeting. At all.

  
He’s not fidgeting now that he finally has the Reverse Flash locked up where he can’t cause any more damage, where he can’t hurt everyone Barry cares about the same way he hurt his mother. He’s not fidgeting seeing Caitlin embracing Ronnie like she never means to let him go again and Cisco on an overdose of excitement for their latest victory. He’s not fidgeting as Joe and Professor Stein exchange some quick words and Iris catches up onto everything Firestorm related while trying –and failing at best in his opinion- to fake her smile.

  
He’s not fidgeting because Oliver isn’t here.

  
Why should he? It’s not like the man had been three seconds away from having a vibrating hand shoved in his chest after all. Except that he had been and, even though Barry keeps telling himself that he got back there in time, that he _was_ fast enough to stop Harrison Wells, he’s having quite some trouble preventing his mind from conjuring up all possible scenarios involving the archer lying still on the ground, his bow not too far away, with the speedster in yellow grinning at Barry, his hand still not removed from the body beneath him.

  
And in that moment, he swears he can feel his own heart getting crushed too.

  
He perfectly knows that Oliver is safe, waiting to meet him at their usual place, and this is all a frightening product of his head. But still, now that the adrenaline from the fight has rushed down and everything that happened is really starting to catch up with him and slowly sinking in, he can’t help but thinking he had been so close, too close, to lose Oliver in the blink of an eye. Sometimes, thinking at a high speed rate was a true pain in the ass. He learned a long time ago to get used to it and he's able to manage pretty well usually, but this night had left him completly exhausted, both physically and emotionally, so it wouldn’t be too bad having the person his agitated thoughts are revolving aroung here with him, flesh and bones. He wants - _he needs_ \- to make sure, one hundred percent, that they are simply that: thoughts. That are _not_ making him fidget like crazy.

  
“You alright, kid?”

  
He doesn’t flinch when Joe approaches him. It’s not like he was so lost in some horrible fantasy not to pay attention to what was happening around him anymore. Oh, who is he kidding? Obviously not himself. And, by the quirky raised eyebrow of his stepfather, surely not him. Focus, Barry.

  
“Yeah. Never been better. Just a bit tired, it’s all. Yeah…”

  
He can tell he’s not convincing, not one bit, but how is he supposed to put it? He can’t exactly go on and say the lack of a certain man who likes arrows a lot is making him anxious for stupid reasons that involve said man’s nearly death experience at the hand –literally- of a guy from the future who disguised himself as a famous scientist and turned out to be Barry’s arch nemesis and who probably guessed –if Wells’ last words to him are any indication- how deep the young speedster’s feelings run for Oliver fucking Queen and would have taken him away and ripped those feelings apart so easily as Barry’s mind keeps picturing to try and make him go slowly insane and he really, really wants to get out and meet with his lover right away ‘cause, hell, he’s _totally_ fidgeting and he needs to calm down and make sure that Oliver is truly alright and-

  
“Barry, breathe! Come on, son, deep breaths.”

  
Oh.

  
What did he say? Frenzy thoughts are a pain in the ass.

  
Everyone is staring at him with concerned and inquisitive looks. Joe has both ends on his shoulders in an attempt to calm him down and yeah, it's probably for the best to try and ease his errating breathing. Having a panic attack is the last thing on his to do list for the night. He inhales deeply and then exhales several times, all the while avoiding eye to eye contact with his teammates and family. Iris is at his side almost immediately, tenderly stroking his arm and then taking his hand in her own to caress it with her thumb, like when they were kids and he would wake up screaming from a nightmare about his mom and cry and cry ‘till he felt like there was a hard rock pressing in his abdomen so heavy it prevented his lungs from expanding.

  
When Barry is finally able to relax again, he doesn’t even have the time to look up before the Detective drags him away from the others, just saying “We’ll be back in a minute.” and stopping his daughter from following them muttering ‘later’ with what he can only hope to be a reassuring smile that he’s got the situation under control. Once alone, he makes Barry sit on the floor, then places himself next to him . This scene reminds him too much of the one occurring just an hour ago, when he had felt so sad and disappointed in himself and confused. He’s feeling like that again now. Two times in a row, must be his lucky day.

  
Joe doesn’t say anything, just waits for him to vent his thoughts. He has to take a moment to collect them in order to try and explain what just happened. Problem is he’s at loss for words. He knows he has to unbottle the emotions he’s trying to contain or else he might just well explode at this point. But he doesn’t know how. He's never benn the type to do things half way once he starts them so, if he’s going to honestly tell Joe what’s bothering him so much, he knows he will eventually spill everything and not just stop at the surface. And he’s not sure if he’s ready to do that, to completely pour his heart out to someone about his relationship with Oliver. Especially if that someone is his stepfather. He loves the man, he truly does, but he’s also fully aware of Joe's opinion on the Arrow.

  
“Is this about the fight?”

  
Well, damn it all to hell and back. He gulps and turns to look at the other, not even trying to hide his expression anymore, a mix of worry and expectation that’s met only with a sigh. “You can tell me, Barry. You can _trust_ me.”

  
And in the end, he does just that.

  
“I almost lost him.”

  
Joe remains silent. Now that he’s got the speedster to speak, he’s not going to interrupt him. Questions can wait. He doesn't need to hear the name to guess who's Barry's referring to. Besides, what his kid needs right now is a friendly ear that will listen and a person who will at least try to understand. And Joe will, for his sake, that’s for sure. Like he should have done the last time the Arrow was in town and he could clearly see the deep respect and adoration painted on Barry’s face. Like he should have done tonight instead of making judgments on the man who, one more time, had kept his son safe when he couldn’t. He _will_ understand.

  
“I had to help Ronnie, so I left him alone, for like a couple of minutes. I had to act fast, I wasn’t thinking when I run away that maybe he couldn’t handle the Reverse Flash by himself. I mean, he’s Oliver Queen, he pretty much does the impossible on a daily basis.” This causes them both to grin. “And you know, he did that mumbo jumbo with his arrows to block Wells’ speed and in a hand-to-hand combat you can bet Oliver will kick your butt big time. Believe me, I had evidence not too long ago.”

  
A pause. Joe is prepared to face the outburst any moment. He can tell how Barry is on the verge of tears and still trying to keep on a brave face and it hurts him to no end to see the child he raised and loves so much like this. He’s usually so full of life, this hurt smile doesn’t belong with who Barry is and he never wants to see it again. Ever.

  
“I ran back at full speed once Ronnie was safe, it only took me seconds, really, but Wells had recovered in the meantime and he was about to shove his hand in Oliver’s chest. So I jumped him and threw him away. I was so mad, I was seeing red. But I wasn’t scared, not then.” He takes a long breath before continuing, staring at the wall in front of him. “Wells said ‘that’s the spirit’. See? He was sprawled on the ground and still he was grinning at me like I didn’t just hit him so hard to make him fly several meters away just for him to smash on the concrete and in the middle of some trashcans. He was actually pleased and having fun.”

  
Now Barry’s looking at him and all Joe can do is putting a harm around him and hope it’s somehow enough to provide comfort.

  
“He knows. I’m sure he does. And that’s what terrifies me, even after we were able to defeat him. That he knows about my feelings for Oliver and he was going to use them against me. It’s… I feel so helpless.”

  
He’ not stopping himself anymore from shading the tears he had been holding back. It’s not a desperate cry, it’s not full of sorrow. Those are the easy ones to deal with. This is just… liberating. Like all the fears and the anxieties Barry’s built up inside since he became the Flash are flowing freely with nothing to contain them no longer. Joe knows it well. It’s the same cry he let out himself many years ago when Iris’ mother was gone and he had to take care of his daughter and knew that he was alone in this, that he had nothing worth going on for beside her and that every single instant all that little he had left could be taken from him because of who he was and what he did. There'd be times he dind't even want to be a cop anymore, when he thought that Iris (and then Barry) would grow up more happy if he just quit. It took him many failures, but also so many good memories, to fully convince himself that one can only do what he can and then hope for the best.

  
It had been truly heartbreaking coming to this realization. And it is still hard some days. But he has to make the kid understands.

 

“I know what you’re going through right now. And I know exaclty what you’re thinking, but it’s bullshit.”

  
Barry's looking at him with wide eyes, biting his lower lip in order to hush the sobs. He sighs. “You’re making up all these possibilities of what could have gone wrong, of what you could have done differently to change it, that your worries are preventing you from seeing the simple facts: nothing went wrong, you did all you could. And it worked.”

  
“But…”

  
Joe lifts his left hand and continues to talk. He will finish this and he will get his point across, or he himself be damned.

  
“I get it that you’re scared of what could have been and, on some degree, even of what could be from this moment on, because once you realize how fragile the people you care about the most are and how vulnerable they make you there’s no turning back.” He squeezes the younger man’s shoulder. “But you can’t let this rule you. You can’t let this _break_ you instead of making it your force, son.”

  
Barry bows his head, his fists tight and a pensive expression on his face. Joe knows he’s thinking about what he has just heard, the wheels of his mind spinning at unbreakable speed. There’s only another thing the Detective feels the need to say.

 

“I don’t approve of the Arrow’s methods, you know I don’t, but I can’t say to know Oliver Queen very well.” He’s got the other’s attention again, this time followed by an inquisitive –and poorly hidden hopeful- glance. “What I'm sure of is that if he smiles at you the same way he does when he has his mask on, then I think it’s pretty safe for me to say: don’t let Wells ruin that for you.”

  
Barry’s showing him a dazzling grin, finally. It’s quite comical given his still lucid and a bit red eyes and his puffy cheeks, but he couldn’t care less. The kid’s up and embracing him in a minute and he’s laughing. It’s all that ever mattered.

  
“Thank you, just… _thank you_.”

  
He tightens his hold just a little. “Anytime. And for the record, that doesn’t mean I won’t have a word with Mr. Queen as soon as I get the chance. ”

  
The laughter gets even brighter, Barry pats his stepfather on the shoulder before starting to head where he should have been since the beginning of this story. He manages to avoid a more than demanding for anwers Iris, a concerned but discreet Caitlin, a confused Ronnie, an awkward about the situation Cisco and a curious Professor Stein. He will leave all the explaining to Joe. After all, he’s very good and convincing at it and Barry knows he will keep quiet about their new shared secret. He’s proven to be trusted beyond every border.

 

* * *

 

Barry’s late. Great news. Honest to God, Oliver can’t still decide if he should be annoyed or impressed by it. As of now, he will set for annoyed. He shouldn’t have left him go back alone (well, with the dude on fire, technically) to lock up an unconscious Reverse Flash. What if something didn’t function with his arrow? What if something happened and he was not there to help Barry out? What if-

  
A sudden breeze makes him stop in his tracks –no, he was not pacing!- and he is engulfed by two very fierce arms. “You’re late.” He can’t help but mutter, still returning the vice like grip with all himself. Hell, did he missed this.

  
“I know. Don’t act like you don’t find it adorable.”

  
Oliver does, more often than not anyway. Of course he’ll never admit it out loud and give the kid the time of his life. He notices that Barry’s particularly clingy tonight, not having broken the embrace yet. Given all that happened, it’s no surprise and Oliver’s certainly not complaining. Still, there’s this nagging thought in the back of his head and he just has to accommodate it.

  
“Are you okay?”

  
“No, really not.”

  
He pulls away then, not letting go of Barry, but putting enough distance between them so that he can see the other’s face, not covered by the visor. His expression is stern, brows furrowed and, damn, Oliver’s really worried now and already planning to bash some skulls and-

  
“You’re not wearing my mask. That’s a big no-no.”

  
And then he quietly laughs, followed by the younger man. Yes, he really missed this. It’s what had kept him going on all those weeks in Nanda Parbat, the promise of seeing this light again. And he will need it to face the darkness ahead.

  
“Look, about that favor…”

  
A gentle peck on his mouth.

  
“Can’t it wait for another while? I… I just want to stay like this for a little longer. Please?”

  
Oliver’s response is just to place Barry’s head back in the groove of his shoulder and start to caress that tousled mass of hair with one hand, the other firmly pressed against the speedster’s back. He places a soft kiss upon Barry’s temple.

  
“This doesn’t mean I’m still not angry at you.”

  
With his lover safely tucked in his arms, Oliver couldn’t care less.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! This is my first attempt at writing the pairing. Hope it turned out right and that you guys enjoyed it. I was so hyped up after seeing that fight and those tiny Olivarry interactions I just had to try my hand at it. At first, it was going to be a lot shorter (just Barry adorably freaking out), then a wilde Joe appeared and I had to make him and Barry have a heart-to-heart talk, especially since I didn't really like what he said about Oliver in the episode. Seriously, I thought we were over this by now? And then I just had to write that little scene at the end to give you some sugar after all the hurt/comfort so, yeah, this is it. 
> 
> Let me know your thoughts, about both the story and the scene that inspired it, what you liked and what you didn't, constructive criticism is most appreciated. Oh, and by the way: English is not my mother language so, please, feel free to corrrect me about any grammatical error you may find; I think I got them pretty much right but I'm afraid I made a mess with past verbal times...they're so confusing!


End file.
